Tantrična spolnost

What is tantric sexuality and how we should perform it was explained to us by Alexander Lah, a tantric massage therapist.

Could we generalize that tantric sex encompasses for the most part everything that happens before or after sex? Is it a deeper form of connection, a kind of meditation? In tantric sex, the goal is higher than just to reach a climax ...

Tantric love cannot be viewed separately from the rest of life, because sex it becomes tantric love only when you also live tantric during the day. The essence of the tantric way of living and loving is love, respect, sensuality, feeling oneself and others. Self-respect, which is reflected in the fact that you do not live as a robot, but as a sensual being, so you can not expect sex to be deep, sensual, orgasmic, if you are only in your head all day, and your body does not show any respect and primarily use it to carry your head. Feeling the body, breathing in the abdomen, feeling the world around you, the people around you, listening and following your inner voice makes life tantric, then sex itself also becomes tantric, sensual, respectful, healing, safe and fulfilling ... tantric lovemaking .

You could otherwise say it’s at tantric lovemaking the goal is more than just to reach a climax, because there is a lot of confusion and ambiguity in the field of sexuality. What we usually understand as climax or orgasm is in most cases merely a relief of tension, especially in men, but often also in women. Male ejaculation and orgasm are actually two separate processes, although most think that ejaculation and orgasm are the same. A man must learn to hold back the ejaculation but still experience an orgasm of the whole body.

It’s similar with a woman - they mostly think she’s fast orgasm the clitoris is a real orgasm, but in reality it is just a pleasant relief of tension, and much deeper and more powerful orgasms of the whole body are still waiting for her to discover them.

How does tantra connect a partner? At what levels?

When we say let's go to love , it must be done in such a way that not only short-term explosive relief occurs, but that a loving, safe environment is built that attracts deep orgasms and ecstatic and healing experiences. The quality and duration of orgasm is quite different in tantric lovemaking than in normal sex. The orgasm is not so violent and explosive, but deep, long-lasting, imbued with a pleasant peace and power that remains for days after lovemaking. In this way, the partners experience love, show each other and experience the love that connects them on all levels of being, while in superficial sex they only empty each other and this does not feed their relationship, but exhausts the relationship and brings a feeling of emptiness. , they feel more and more that this is not it and they look for in other partners what they feel can be achieved with love - the feeling that you are loved, that you are ok as you are, that you long for a connection with another a person to worship and admire one unrepeatable version of God in another person. Of course, in the second you can admire God only if you also have such an attitude towards yourself, because we often have relationships (partner and sexual) on completely wrong grounds. We often do not love, admire, perceive ourselves as a unique version of a god / goddess, but focus on finding someone who I think is a god / goddess, but that other person plays the same game - he does not value himself. , but he is looking for someone he mistakenly thinks is something special.

Or to illustrate otherwise. Eg. a man has a conscious or subconscious opinion of himself that he is poor (at least as far as how much love he has in him, not how much money he has) and seeks and eventually finds a woman who seems to be a goddess, queen, full beauty and love, even though she has a very similar bad opinion of herself as he has of herself, and at the same time, through the glasses of infatuation, she seems to be a king, a real man, a strong man with whom she can relax and open up and express herself. as a woman. So they consider each other to be a king or a queen, but in reality they are both poor and as soon as the blindness of infatuation subsides, they both realize that they are not with the king and queen. Then there is disappointment, anger, the accusation that the other person has changed, that he is no longer the way he was when they met.

The best way to avoid all this is to cultivate respect and love in yourself first, but it is easier to look for it outside, in another person.

When it comes to tantric love, both partners have to be so very committed, sensual, emotional, right?

Ideally, they are both mature, committed, and sensual, and know how to control sexual energy, at which point making love has the most chance of becoming deep, fulfilling love. But if one partner is more adept at tantric lovemaking, he can also teach the other if he is willing to learn.

Can a relationship between partners be tantric, even if it is not sexuality, a sexual act?

The essence of tantric sexuality is to create and feel the field of love, to feel the network of love threads that intertwine between them, so a tantric relationship is not limited to sexual intercourse, although during sexual intercourse such a field is easier to build because they both take time and focus on lovemaking, but the field of pleasure and gentle erotic charge can also be maintained throughout the day, outside of sexual intercourse.

How should one learn tantric lovemaking?

Tantric lovemaking can be learned. Tantric massage workshops are available, because through tantric massage we learn a lot about the nature of sexual energy and how to use it appropriately. We had such a workshop in the spring, the next one will be in the fall. Although we learn certain techniques, I would like to point out that the technique helps a lot, but the technique alone is not enough. Above all, it is about the ability to feel the whole spectrum of energies (among them are also less pleasant) and master these energies, which is achieved through the theoretical part of the workshop, and above all through own practical research after the workshop, which never really ends. Tantric lovemaking is more an approach to life, to yourself and other people, it is more lovemaking with life itself than some "severe" technique that brings you film sex. With tantric love, we come to deep pleasures and ecstatic states, but sometimes we also encounter our repressed emotions, blockages, and wounds in order to heal and to feel better and become a better person and better serve life (god). it expresses itself through us in a unique way. Here, too, knowledge is needed on how to overcome these emotional storms, that it is not just an unpleasant drama and endless escape from oneself through short-term pleasures such as sex, food, superficial chatter, constant restlessness ... but that it is about growth and development.

How should he know he is on the right track? When sexual intimacy lasts longer, when sexual ecstasy is prolonged?

Especially after how you feel a few hours and a few days after the act. When it comes to quality lovemaking, you feel good, you feel peace, strength, simplicity, there remains a pleasant tingling, but at the same time satisfaction. Although you always want to make love again, you are not neurotically obsessed with sex. However, when it comes to quick superficial sex, this sometimes fits, but often leaves a feeling of restlessness, dissatisfaction and obsession with sex.

How important is the technique of making love, the length of the sexual act, the imagination, the enrichment of the act with erotic toys in a tantric experience?  

The technique helps in the beginning, but later it is necessary to surrender to love, the field that is created during lovemaking and this field dictates the technique and positions. The length of the act is not important, although usually tantric lovemaking lasts for several hours. More important is the quality, the depth of the relationship, which is difficult to achieve in half an hour. Tantric love does not begin with penetration, but with the merging of energies, the connection between partners, the feeling of self and partner, the enjoyment of the pleasant field that is being created.

Imagination and fantasy is an escape from actual love, it is the inability to feel the beauty of the moment and because we don’t feel it, we try to evoke it with fantasy. Let the mind and imagination follow the act, let it help to realize what is already here. In love, the heart should be the ruler and the mind the servant who learns and supports love, not dictates positions and pace. Erotic toys probably have their place too, but to me they are more of a distraction.

Personally, mine and her body are enough for me. The word body here refers to the physical, emotional, mental body, even the soul.

How to achieve complete surrender, depth, connection, communication, empathy?

Mostly by feeling first yourself and then your partner. Deep, sensual breathing in the abdomen helps the most, acting as a huge heart that constantly exchanges energy within us with the energy of the environment, the partner, the universe.

Is tantric sexuality about stopping and continuing to caress or something else just before orgasm?

Orgasm and male ejaculation are two separate bodily processes, orgasm is always desirable, and male ejaculation only when you want to conceive a child. A woman's ejaculation is something completely different, it does not exhaust a woman, just like a man, but takes her into deeper ecstatic experiences, and sometimes also into psycho-physical cleansing of the body. Therefore, it is good for a man to learn to control ejaculation, for which he can perform certain exercises outside the act, including squeezing the perineum or contracting the pubic-occipital muscle, which keeps the body flowing for sexual energy and allows sexual energy to spread throughout body, not just the genital area.

If a lot of energy accumulates only in the genital area, there is more energy pressure and other parts of the body are not fed with this vital energy and consequently we can feel pain in the testicles and prostate, so it is better to ejaculate if we do not know how to distribute energy throughout the body. Of course, it is better to gradually train the body to be able to spread sexual energy throughout the body, to have our mind sharp, clear and loving, to have our emotions strong but calm, to be full of life energy, not to throw energy into handkerchief and stay pleasantly (or less pleasantly) relaxed. A man learns through exercises he does himself, as well as through making love so that he does not go beyond the point of no return (ejaculation).

A man must learn to control ejaculation. The ability to hold an orgasm is probably not an easy task at first?

That’s right, for men, holding back the ejaculation isn’t an easy task at first, as they feel like they’ve given up the only pleasure available to them. But this is not really the only pleasure, a man is much more beautiful. If he learns to feel himself and her, it already causes him ecstatic pleasures, and eventually he also learns to experience orgasms of the whole body (without ejaculation) just by connecting with her and her ecstasy.

What should be the appropriate space for a tantric jump into bed?

Tantric love is not a work, it is not an obligation, it is more a prayer, meditation, worship of life and concrete unrepeatable versions of the god and goddess represented by the partner, so the space should be suitable for that. If we can afford it, it is good to have a special room that is intended only for love, appropriately equipped, decorated, scented, heated, a room or sanctuary.

It takes a lot of time. How can this be maintained in today’s fast pace of life or after children are already here?

The problem is that most people have given up on making love and making love is less of a pleasure than watching TV, so it is not high enough on the priority and consequently it is hard to find time to make love as it has become more of a legal obligation than something we want. But if we rediscover the beauties of lovemaking, it won’t be hard to find time.

Article written by: Veronika Bilban, Wealth of Health magazine.

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